After 13 years, my husband is leaving active duty service in the Marine Corps. It is the right decision for our family. The work hours are long, the pace is grueling, and deployments suck. For 13 years, my husband and I have moved around the country, birthing babies, making friends, and breaking our hearts each time we say goodbye. It is a tough life away from the support of family. But for all the heartache and hard times, I will truly miss being a military spouse. The service has given me unexpected gifts I will have a hard time leaving behind.

PERKS: Being a dependent grants me access to incredible benefits. Because of my husband’s service, I can shop at a tax-free grocery store (the commissary), exercise at a free gym, rent a boat, or camp at a campground for military members. With rising health care costs in this country, I was blessed to never see a bill each time I gave birth. I have heard some horror stories of veteran care, but I can honestly say that I was treated well by the system.

PROGRAMS: The military has numerous programs to aid family members like first aid, smooth move, and parenting classes. Valuable information to navigate this crazy life is at my fingertips. When I had trouble breastfeeding, I had a lactation consultant come to my house. When I wanted to eat healthier, I met with a registered dietician. My children played soccer and took ballet through base programs. It amazed me to know that these programs were available for the asking.

PLACES: We were never stationed overseas, but we have traveled across this country. I swam in the Gulf of Mexico, the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans. I have lived in places I never would have considered--Next to the ocean and in the middle of a desert. 

This country is vast and beautiful. My husband and I chose baby names while we drove on the Blue Ridge Parkway and we rode a train to the Grand Canyon as a family last Christmas. Every time we move, I see another part of this country and its amazing landscape.

PEOPLE: More than any perk, program, or place, I will miss the people. The military is full of the most selfless, giving, fun-loving people you will ever meet. Living on base gave me access to a community I didn’t believe existed. My children would run out the door to play with their friends and an hour later I would receive a text from a neighbor that they were currently at her house. I don’t have to stand outside and be a helicopter parent. The village looks after the children. I have given water to a thirsty kid who rang my doorbell and cared for the skinned knees of a child who fell outside my door. 

We spouses understand that with our partners gone so frequently we rely on each other. One time a neighbor asked my husband to check her house because she was scared when her husband was away. I called my neighbor at 7 AM to ask for coffee because I was out. 

We give our time and resources graciously because we know that soon we will be the ones in need.

As my family begins a new adventure, we will leave many things behind. We are moving across the country (again) and starting over in a new town (again). This time we will do it without the bonuses and support system of the military. But I won’t leave behind the friendships I have built over the years as a military spouse. These will last me a lifetime.